Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Black and White

     This morning, as I was on my way to work, I was deep in thought. There's so much more that I want to do with my life. I want to be a nurse, I want to be a better Mommy, I want to be a better person period. I asked God for change and I swear, I'm starting to notice suttle differences within myself and how I think.

     When I was younger, I thought I had the world figured out. Everything was either right or wrong, black or white, yes or no. There really wasn't an in between with me. Now, I've gotten older and I realize that the world isn't what I thought it was. I'm a Mother, whose responsible for a dozen children. I'm a daughter that loves and respects and cares for her mother even though there was abuse for years. I'm a student whose thirsty for knowledge. I'm an employee who cares for her patients like they're family members. I'm a daughter of the Most High and I make mistakes and I am forgiven time and time again. I have so many titles and roles but I tend to get frustrated from time to time.
     I think this why I keep praying so much. I want-- no I need-- for God to help me. I want to be a better woman, daughter, Mama, and Christian. I want so much and I'm so impatient. I have got to learn patience. But...things aren't as chaotic as before. I've been spending ALOT of time with my kids. I've been working on menu plans, chore lists, and schedules. God is so good. He answers my prayers and loves me unconditionally. That is all I ask for.

                                                                      Me Previously

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